My Best Performance
by Fourwords
Summary: Entry for 'The Littlest Peen' Contest. Emmett has a huge ego but that doesn't mean he's well endowed in every department, leaving Rosalie unsatisfied, unhappy and just plain unamused. Cannon Pairings, one shot with Lemony goodness.


**"The Littlest Peen" Writing Contest - http://www(.)fanfiction(.)net/u/2207039/**

**The Littlest Peen Contest**

**Title Of Entry: **My Best Performance

**Penname: **Fourwords

**Pairing: **Rosalie/Emmett (Vampires)

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AN: I'm popping my Rosalie/Emmett cherry here with a lemon for the 'Not-so-happy couple' in this one shot. Voting starts for the contest on February 6th, the link is at the top so don't forget to cast your vote!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, If I did this one-shot could have been real.

Warning: This is rated M for a reason, the main ones being that is 1. Lemony, 2. Uses foul language and 3. Contains girly sex talk. You've been warned.

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I had always wanted to be an actress, ever since I was a child and I had been allowed to watch the pretty women who danced around on that big screen, their dresses colourless in the flickering grey pictures.

I had wanted it almost as much as I wanted to marry and have pretty babies, what little girl my age hadn't wanted such a thing? As I grew older the idea became more absurd but I'd always found it appealing since I had the smooth and gentle voice to appear in the 'talkies', I could sing, I could dance and boy, did I have the looks.

I could have gone far, all the way, I could have rubbed elbows with the rich and famous, sipped champagne and have my delicate face painted across posters with my name said in awe.

I would have been magnificent.

But that dream had long faded with my fleeting humanity and now my acting had been reduced to strictly _bedroom related activities. _Had Emmett clothes been a little more torn around the crotch I might have thought twice before I changed him into a never resting vampire with an incredibly high libido. I'll never forget that huge rush of disappointment on our first night together, and every night since.

_His large hands trailed down my body, softly caressing my cool skin as if he was memorising it, I leant forward into his touch and sighed in contempt when his other hand attached to my ribs, slowly moving upwards until one clumsy hand encountered a breast. _

_His movements were unskilled but he wasn't going to let the fact that he was a virgin get in the way of his lust, his hand covered my breast, making my nipples harder if possible. I moaned in pleasure, the touch sent tickling waves down my spine, reaching from my toes and even spreading out to my fingertips. _

_My own hands wandered across his defined abs, hard planes of pure muscle underneath my strong grasp, his fingers ghosted down my side as I locked my fingers into his thick brown curls. I drew his lips to mine, kissing him with a new found passion that smouldered within me. _

_Our tongues clashes, dancing together as I tasted the small trace of venom left on his tongue, I could feel my own juices between my legs and I moved my thighs, desperate for some sort of friction to soothe the burning need that was engulfing me. I moaned into his mouth, grabbed his arms to bring him with me as I fell onto the bed, which splintered under the force. _

_Our movements became quicker as the lust consumed us further, his lips crushed mine in an never ending battle for the upper hand. He broke away, placing kisses on my neck and breathing deeply, inhaling my scent. I knew there was proberly a whole different scent I was giving off that he wasn't obvious to. _

_His hand reached down my body, pawing every inch of my skin until his fingers were gripping my thigh, he threw it up around his waist and I clung to his body as he continued to kiss me, my golden hair trailed down my back and he turned us over so I was straddling him. _

_His crimson eyes glowed with a different fire than he was used to but every bit as consuming, making him hungry for my pale flesh alone. I ran my fingers over his chest, taking his nipples and gently teasing them, Emmett growled playfully beneath me. _

_Moans filled the room as he continued to tease me, his fingers running over my body and coming dangerously close to my dripping core. My hands fumbled down to untie his belt, I pressed my lips to his again as I grew impatient and just snapped the leather in two. _

_Emmett laughed at my desperation, he nipped at my ear before he turned us around once again so I was laid below him, he discarded his trousers quickly and leant back into my touch. I lifted my legs up to wrap around his waist and rocked my hips. _

_He wrapped one arm around my torso to keep me supported, the other on the bed so he wouldn't crush me, the bed creaked but I couldn't care less. His smouldering eyes echoed mine before he broke eye contact to reach down and take my nipple in his mouth. _

_I gasped and forced his head closer to my chest, pressing deeper into my snowy skin; his moans were muffled against my ample breasts. He stopped to kiss me as I rocked harder, pressing my core to him, I lowered my hands to his thighs to guide him forward. _

_We were done with the teasing and Emmett grinned at me before he thrust forward, an expression of pure pleasure dazzled his perfect features, his eyes gleaming with ecstasy._

_I didn't feel anything. _

_I rotated my hips in a circulator motion and pressed myself harder against him, Emmett moaned loudly, his face scrunching up as the feelings overtook him. I felt my confusion set in, surely he had entered me? _

_My frustration grew, my movements becoming more aggressive as I tried in vain to calm the fire that burned right from my core. Emmett was spurred on by my attempts and thrust harder, deeper and at vampire speed. My body shook with the force at which we moved, my blonde curls vibrating around my face. _

_His hand suddenly moved lower towards my core and his thumb swept over the small bundle of nerves, I sighed a tiny sigh of relief when I felt a tingle of pleasure but it died on my lips when it didn't become any stronger._

_He rubbed harder and it became more painful than pleasurable, my face scrunched up in pain, anger and frustration, of course Emmett mistook it for one of intense pleasure and pounded harder into me. His groans became louder, so loud I thought the foundations of the house might shake. _

"_Rosalie! God babe I'm so close..." he yelled, his hands gripped harder and I gasped at the slightly too strong hold on my skin. _

"_Ro...sa...lie!" he screamed thrusting forward at each syllable of my name. He began saying my name over and over again as he continued; surely he couldn't last much longer for someone so small? I thought miserably. _

"_Come on Rose... come... with...me" he gasped out, I had given up on all hope of gaining anything from this encounter so I couldn't possibility follow his instructions. _

_He kept moaning, sighing, groaning about my body, trying to make me climax as he touched me, pounded and rubbed, all in vain. I rolled my eyes at his screams which grew more frequent. _

"_ROSALIE!" he exclaimed, I was growing sick of this, desperate for anything to get this over and done with now. It wasn't hard to make it look like I was enjoying it, I was suddenly grateful orgasmic expressions resembled pain so much. _

_I hadn't done anything like this before, but surely faking this was pretty easy, so I just copied Emmett. _

"_Emmett! Oh god!" I panted slamming my hips into his, he was delighted with the response, so I continued, I writhed and thrashed going totally over the top, screaming my head off and moving hard against him. _

_I can't believe he's buying this, I laughed mentally. _

"_Em... Emmett... EMMETT!" I screamed from the top of my lungs, I allowed my body go limp in his arms, I glanced at Emmett's face whose eyes were scrunched up in concentration, I clenched my muscles as he thrusted a little too hard and suddenly a look of relief crossed his handsome face. _

_Thank god for that. _

_He stopped moving, his body twitched and shuddered and his own limbs relaxed like mine, causing him to crash down onto the bed on top of me. Had I been human his weight would have surely crushed me, he lay on top of me, moaning and twitching occasionally. He began whispering endearments to me, promises of us, together, forever. _

_A flash of fear rushed through my icy veins as he said it. Me and my not-so-well- endowed husband. Forever. _

For years I'd endured the same response, each day, several times a day for decades. It was enough to drive me crazy, I tried everything. I tried every position I could think of, every way I could twist my body.

But it was useless.

His penis, willy, winkle, love muscle, night crawler, dong, dick, prick, dipstick, wick. His rammer, slammer, weapon, python, snake in the trousers, ding-a-ling, member and jock, his cock. Whatever you wanted to call it.

Just wasn't up to the task.

I sighed a breath of relief when we entered the latter half of the 20 century, humans wanted more of their sex lives and I was first to say vampires weren't much different. Toys, costumes, whips, straps, leather, underwear. Everything I could lay my hands on, all turning out to be mere props in my performance.

Some things Emmett just wouldn't try, he hated giving me oral sex, giving the excuse he just couldn't do that with his tongue despite the fact he doesn't complain about mine on him. Other methods would make his impatient grow to the point where he'd give up and do it the old fashioned way. Each time I would scream, shout and writhe and Emmett was completely obvious that it was all an act.

We boasted the most adventurous sex life of any vampire we knew, we'd done things that would make many pale at the thought and things humans wouldn't think possible.

At one point I was so desperate I considered accepting the rather lucid invitation into a man's bed, he was in his mid sixties, overweight and balding, his skin looked leathery and had a slick sheen of sweat to it. His rather disgusting promises of a wild night of passion had been surprisingly appealing after decades with Emmett's seemingly perfection.

But Emmett had sent the man running before I could seriously entertain the idea.

A few months ago I was distraught one afternoon after another failed attempt at sex, of course Alice was the one to see me trying to control my dry sobbing out in the forest and not knowing the reason thoughtfully came to comfort me.

"Rosalie?" came the high tinkling of Alice's voice, I glanced up to see her hovering at the edge of the clearing waiting to see if she should approach, of course she already knew that I would let her but Alice did try to be careful if we were upset.

I nodded and she flew to my side, perching on the stump I'd been sobbing on. She wrapped a delicate arm around my shoulders and rubbed her hand up and down my arm in a soothing gesture.

"What's wrong?" she asked softly, Alice hated not knowing things and I could see the slightly pleading edge in her eyes.

"Nothing." I sniffed looking down into my lap. I knew Alice wasn't convinced with my answer, after all why would I cry in the forest for no apparent reason?

"Do you want to talk about it?" she questioned quietly.

I looked at my immortal sister, she had been there for me for many years, we'd clicked into a familiar friendship the moment I met her and I'd shared many worries and dilemmas but Emmett's lack in the bedroom department had been a sworn secret I'd kept.

I was terrified of confiding in Alice for fear it would change our relationship too much, the position I would end up placing Alice in by telling her that her brother had a tiny package. I'd never had a talk involving sex or sexuality before and a small part of me wondered if it would help me to vent the build up frustration.

"It will creep you out." I muttered under my breath, Alice shrugged instantly not caring whether it would or not, if possible it only fuelled her curiosity.

_What the hell. _I thought darkly, if Alice wanted to know then it was almost certain she'd find out. We'd grown used to not having secrets in our house but I'd gone to great lengths to keep this one.

"It's about sex."

Alice looked blankly at me for a moment before arching her carefully plucked eyebrows and nodding for me to continue, I took a deep breath which really wasn't necessary but I wanted the extra second to delay it.

"Emmett is completely _horrible _in bed!" I cried before dropping my head into my hands as another sob fought to the surface. I glanced at her through my fingers to see her shocked but supporting a confused expression as well.

"But you two always seem so... adventurous." She said after a moment of dead silence, I could see her running over my words in her head, trying to make sense of it.

"I have to be! I've tried everything I can think of! It's all completely useless!" I yelled in frustration thinking back to the various methods, squeezing into skimpy lingerie and using various scary looking instruments designed to enhance sexual pleasure.

"How is it useless? It's sex." Alice stated raising her eyebrows again.

"I can't get off! Emmett's too dam _small_!" I screamed loudly running my fingers through my wavy curls in annoyance.

Alice stared at me wordlessly for a moment and I'd wondered if she'd frozen. Before I could shake her from it her thin lips spread into a massive grin which soon turned into loud, uncontrollable laughter.

Her small frame shook with the force of it, her torso leaning forward as she spluttered and snorted with hysterics. If I was human I would have been a deep scarlet with embarrassment, but her laughter was infectious so when I repeated the words in my head I found myself bent over shaking with it as well. It was hard to stop, even more so when I would lock eyes with Alice which would send us into another round of hysterics.

After a few minutes my laughter broke down into sobs once more, frustration, anger and sadness rising to the surface and bubbling over. I hated losing control over my composure like this but I felt slightly lighter, as if admitting the problem to Alice had physically relieved a burden from my shoulders.

"Oh rose." She murmured wrapping her arm around me once more. I leant into her embrace despite her much smaller body and instantly felt a little comforted, in this situation Jasper would proberly be the best choice with his calming influence but if he knew, Emmett would _never _live it down.

"Surely you've gotten off at least on-"

"No, I haven't" I said cutting her off before she could finish, Alice's eyebrows practically shot up into her organised mess of spiky curls. Alice seemed more surprised by this than my telling her how Emmett had the smallest penis in a hundred mile radius.

"Wow." She managed after another lengthy silence, I was beginning to worry Alice's eyebrows might never descend into their natural position and forever keep that astonished expression on her youthful face.

"You've never even gotten close?"

I sighed at her question, I had tried touching myself on my own but the pleasure gained from it hadn't been as strong as I'd hoped, they didn't really last longer than about five seconds anyway so I was reluctant to label these small sessions as 'mind blowing orgasms' becuase they weren't. I had read stories of such pleasure that you practically see stars, I wanted _that. _

I shook my head since although I'd experienced some pleasure it didn't approach the level I'd expect an orgasm to rest.

Perhaps I would never even experience one moment of pure physical bliss while Emmett is destined to experience millions more on top of the millions he's already had.

Oh Lord... _What if it's me? _What if there's nothing wrong with Emmett's member and it's me? Maybe I wasn't functioning right down there. I had never achieved orgasm through peneration even with stimulating, could my nerves be damaged? My mind was going in a sudden spin, worried my body wasn't as perfect as I'd thought. That was a dark thought and one I quickly dismissed for fear it might be true. Anyway it's not like Emmett had a lot to penetrate with.

"What have you tried?" Alice prompted, although her shock was still visible she was ready to hear more details, which surprised me right to my core.

"Oh god. Role play, S & M, anal, numerous positions, tantric sex, sex in public, sex swings. The list goes on and on!" I moaned.

"All that and you've never even had one orgasm." Alice whispered in disbelief, I could see her eyes wide with the thought of such a thing. I kept quiet that I'd technically had small weak ones but since in my book they didn't count I doubted they would in hers.

"I mean that's not... normal right?" I asked her.

I wanted Alice to tell me that it was normal for a strong vampire male to be so stunted in growth but I knew it just wasn't. When you pass from human to vampire almost everything became enhanced as a predatory way to attract your prey, was the male sex organ the only exception to this?

If not, I'd hate to think how small Emmett was _before_ he was transformed.

"No, it's not." She replied sadly, I looked down frowning and her hand rubbed my back in soothing circles.

"What does Emmett say about it?"

"He doesn't know anything about it, as far as he's concerned I'm perfectly satisfied with our sex life." I replied a little too defensively.

"You haven't told him!" Alice burst out in shock, I shook my head.

Telling Emmett would be far from helpful, I'd don't know if he considered his manhood to be small or maybe he thought it was a huge accomplishment to him that he could – in his mind - satisfy me with it.

"If you tell him he could help you with it! Why haven't you?" she demanded. I suppressed a laugh; clearly Alice didn't know Emmett at all.

"Alice, Emmett might have the tiniest penis around but the biggest ego. If I admit he's never sexually satisfied me because he has a tooth pick for a cock, his ego, his confidence will go down the drain." I pointed out. Alice contemplated this for a few moments before reluctantly nodding her head in agreement.

"So he seriously believes that every time you two have sex you have an orgasm?" she asked as the curiosity returned at full force.

"I could proberly fake orgasms better than your real ones. I've become very good at acting." I told her seriously, Alice giggled but put her hand to her mouth to stifle it, after a second she became serious again. I had to admit I was relieved Alice seemed so willing to talk with me and not laugh in my face, although technically she did do that.

"What haven't you tried?"

"Not much, I've done so much stuff." I admitted. Alice didn't seem fazed at all by this confession; instead she pressed her lips together in thought.

"Have you done it with yourself?" came her next question, again had I been human I would have blushed; I nearly giggled at the idea. It seemed so _personal, _More so than the other questions_._ I nodded slowly.

"Really! And?" her bell voice demanded shrilly. I quickly hushed her, not wanting to be discovered or overheard by anyone.

"I felt something when I did it but it was so quick and weak, anyway it's hard to find a private moment to do it." I mumbled sadly.

She looked thoughtful for a moment before adding "What did you use?"

_Jeez, does Alice want the position, time and angle as well?_ I thought wondering if there were any more details she was willing to hammer out. I didn't dare say it, knowing her she would want to know these.

"My hand." I replied as if it was the most obvious answer, which to me it was. It hadn't been obvious to Alice though because her familiar mask of shock was back.

"Just that? You've never used a dildo or something?"

I shook my head, Emmett had come across almost every sex toy on earth except that since

"Well. There's your answer." Alice laughed and smiled widely, glad to have come up with a perfect solution.

"You really think so?" I questioned as my eyebrows knitted together. For that I'd have to purchase a vibrator or something, an item I'd never brought since I'd thought Emmett's would have been fine as long as I tried other things when we had sex.

"Of course, it's amazing! Trust me it's the best feeling!" she practically squealed with delight, It was my turn to look at her in shock now as she practically confessed her own sexual antics.

"I'll consider it." I said uncertainly.

Alice grinned before jumping up from the stump we'd been sitting and danced to the edge of the small clearing, It surprised me when she stopped for a few seconds, I was about to ask her if she was ok when she wheeled to face me.

"If it helps Rosalie, I can see it." She winked before leaping forward again into the forest and disappearing into the shadows. Leaving me completely surprised but with a slowly forming smile.

I'd mulled over the idea for a while but after _many _more attempts and several pointed looks from Alice I finally decided to take her advice.

I felt terribly self conscious as I ducked into the adult store a few towns situated away from where we were living in New Hampshire. Normally I would buy off the internet but Emmett's curiosity normally got the better of him and he couldn't refrain from tearing open several of my packages.

I was terrified of being caught at the store so I'd found a long trench coat and pulled the collar up to touch my cheekbones, luckily it was raining outside so the coat wasn't too out of place, I'd pulled a hat over my golden hair to further disguise me, I'd proberly gone a little overboard with the Gucci sunglasses.

It was a dingy little place but the only business that sold adult items for miles around, there was a giant neon sign that pulsed and buzzed steadily over the door, I carefully pushed it open and entered. The smell was revolting and the cashier seemed to be the source of the stench, his skin was greasy and his lanky black hair laid flat against his skull, his body was covered in tattoos and he was scratching his privates rather horridly.

I ignored his curious stares and proceeded through the aisles rolling my eyes at the disgusting pornography titles to the adult toy section.

I was astonished at the different styles and colours that was on offer but quickly settled on a plain pale blue one that was at least three times the length of Emmett's member, the box promised 'earth shattering orgasms' and 'several vibrating settings to ease your mind into oblivion.' It was for these promises I brought the item.

"Come home with me and you'd never need that." Sniggered the cashier as he rung up my purchase, I stuck my nose in the air as I struggled not to reach out and break his crooked nose for even fantasising himself with me.

"As tempting as it sounds to be invited to your mother's house and allow you to poke your slimly cock into my body I'll think I'll pass." I replied instantly and grabbed the bagged vibrator from his hand; I glanced back at his furious face before I ran outside and jumped into my car.

It was a while before I had a chance to use it, I carefully picked my moment, waiting until Emmett had gone hunting with Jasper and Edward, Alice and Esme had decided to spend the day shopping while Carlisle worked at the hospital. Once I was sure I was alone I pulled the vibrator down and sat on my bed, dressed only in my underwear.

I closed my eyes and began to think of Emmett.

I loved him and he turned me on like hell but he couldn't get me off, but still I took pleasure in the memory of his touch.

I let my hand touch my neck, slowly reach down to caress my breasts, I felt my nipples harden considerably under my fingers until I needed more of the sensation, I reached round and unclasped the black lacy bra, allowing my perk breasts to spring out.

I flicked over my nipples, revelling in the sensation of my own soft hands on my body. I felt the temperature of my core rise a little and the cool liquid pool in my panties. One hand remained on my breast, kneading softly while the other snaked down.

I traced gentle circles on my stomach which sent delightful tingles through me and my breathing hitched slightly as I hooked one finger under the lace. My arousal was soaring as I touched myself, making me wetter if possible.

I continued to tug at the top of the lace, teasing myself and enjoying the anticipation of what was to come. When I couldn't take much more I hastily removed the lace from my body, my fingers dipped into the heat, I located my clit and rubbed it.

I gasped at the feeling, touching myself intimately felt amazing, even more so than when Emmett did.

I continued rubbing in slow agonising circles of pleasure before my other hand reached out to grasp the vibrator, I brought it to my heat using the tip to caress my folds. Had Emmett been doing this I would have barely felt the sensation but I knew the toy in my hands almost promised pleasure and I shivered at the thought of the big cock inside me.

I teased myself until the need became to great and pushed the vibrator into my core. I moaned at the consuming feeling of fiery lust and need, it completely filled me, pushing my tight pussy to its limits.

Without another thought I began pumping the vibrator in and out of my body, the pleasure was immediate and my back arched slightly off the bed, I didn't slow but I tried to keep the rhythm steady, relishing the feeling.

The smouldering fire that had blossomed in my core was building and unconsciously I began pumping faster and faster, my other hand continued rubbing my clit, intensifying the pleasure. I moaned and withed with the feeling, needing only more and feeling happier that I was able to control it.

I was so wrapped up in the feeling, the concentration of my pleasure that I didn't register the sound of footsteps running through the hallway or the presence of Emmett when he burst through my door.

"Rosalie?!" he gasped in shock as he caught me, naked and pleasuring myself on our silk sheets.

I stopped my movements, halting the pleasure as my head snapped up to meet his gaze, he was wide eyed and the hand that was holding a bunch of flowers was now hanging limply at his side. It seemed ironic, the one time he wanted to surprise me with flowers was the time I least wanted interruptions.

"What are you doing?" he questioned, his gaze rivited on my hand that still gripped the vibrator that was sheathed in me.

"What does it look like?" I hissed at him, my annoyance was seeping through, I was determined not to let him ruin this, this was the most pleasure I'd ever experienced in my life and he was _not _taking that away from me.

"Oh. Well. Let me help you." He smirked striding forward, a huge grin was spreading across his face and I knew instantly what he placed to do, his fingers fumbled to undo his trousers and I had a terrible vision of him replacing the vibrator. That was _unacceptable._

"No Emmett." I commanded harshly, he stopped immediately, confusion setting on his face as he looked at me.

"Why?" he said with childlike arrogance, he dared to inch closer, his fingers still trying to undo the prison to unleash the almost unnoticeable bulge forming, this move earned him an icy death glare from me.

I felt my irritation break through, no longer caring about his feelings or his huge ego, I was sick of it always being about him, his pleasure, his needs, _his needle dick. _It was my turn.

"Why? Why?! Because your dick is too small to get me off! For _sixty fucking years_ you've been unable to get me remotely close. I've had to fucking pretend to orgasm while you cum left right and centre with your pathetic little excuse for a penis!" I screamed at him. I was seething, sixty years of sexual frustration was making its self known, sparing not one of Emmett's feelings.

He spluttered and shook with shock, rage and embarrassment but before he could find words to retaliate I gave him a clear warning.

"I don't care if you stay or go, either way I'm going to continue but if you dare touch me I'll rip your tiny cock off and shove it up your ass to see how you like getting fucked by a toothpick!" I screeched.

I huffed and laid back even more determined to finish what I started, I pumped harder, faster and deeper than anything I'd ever experienced before. I paid no attention to Emmett who stared at me dumbstruck and flushing slightly.

I moaned and screamed as the pleasure built up, plunging the vibrator deeper within and when it felt that the pleasure couldn't possible increase I flicked a small switch on the vibrator, screaming when the vibrations completely took my senses away, sending me head first into the most intense orgasm I'd ever experienced.

It was like something had burst within me, I expected stars to explode across my vision with the intensity, I rolled my hips at the exact moment I pumped the vibrator into me again, sending a second delicious wave of pleasure over me.

I grinned as I screamed, losing most of my senses to the feeling. Sound, smell, taste and sight ceased to matter to me, touch becoming the foremost thought and feeling. Slowly I came down from the high, allowing my limbs to go limp and regain my senses.

I could hear Emmett crashing into the forest in the distance, knowing sooner or later I'd have to patch things up with him.

But right in that moment I just didn't give a dam because that had been undeniably...

_My best performance yet. _

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AN: This has been updated since I entered the competition, I didn't win, didn't even make the top three. I also updated because I have to admit, it was unrealistic to make it so Rosalie never had an orgasm at all so instead I made her have weak ones, which I read it can be common for some women to climax.

I really want to know if people liked this, review please?


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